Welcome to the ASAWA website, associated with the
ASAWA Guide to Fil-West Relationships
ASAWA's mission is to explore Fil-West relationships - those where one partner is a Filipino woman, better known as a "Filipina," and the other partner is a male from a western nation, such as the United States, U.K., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and Germany, as well as many others. Hopefully you'll find this exploration both educational and entertaining.
For those of you not up on your Tagalog - the language most often spoken in the Philippines - "Asawa" actually means "spouse," which can be either a husband or a wife. Here my primary focus is on the husband, of course. It's pronounced uh (as in "luck") - sau (as in "south") - wa (as in "was"), with the accent on the second syllable.
For the record, I am not a "matchmaker" and I neither promote nor condemn any relationship, Fil-West or otherwise. I do, however, discuss "pen pal" relationships and "mail order brides" as well as the mythology associated with having an "Asian wife." To the extent that some visitors might perceive those discussions as biased one way or the other, I can only say that I do my best to remain neutral, but I won't hesitate to speak my mind on important subjects.
Many visitors to this site are discouraged by what they find. I dispel many myths about Filipinas that other sites tend to perpetuate. If you find what you read discouraging and decide not to pursue a relationship with a Filipina - good! Good for you, and good for her, because if you marry for the wrong reasons, it's only a matter of time before you and your wife realize you're incompatible. Your marriage wouldn't last. You'd be unhappy and your unfortunate wife would be even more unhappy, stranded in a foreign land with a man who fell in love not with her, but with some fantasy-based ideal. The bottom line is that you can fall in love with an ideal...but you can't marry one. A Filipina is a human being, with human strengths and human flaws. She is not an ideal. You'll find that many articles on the website that push that point.
On the other hand, if you do not find the information in the site discouraging, but are instead encouraged to learn more about Filipino culture and Fil-West relationships, you will find I've included many (hopefully) useful articles, authored by myself and several guest writers.
It's important to keep in mind that when a non-Filipino and Filipina wed, culture shock is not reserved for the wife alone. Though she is typically required to adapt herself to a new nation and culture, a Filipina will probably want to make her home feel like...well, like home. Which is to say, a Filipino home. New foods appear in the kitchen and on the dinner table. New pictures and religious icons appear on the walls. Protestants find themselves attending Catholic services. Numerology, superstitions, and dreams might become common topics of conversation. And all but the most stubborn husbands will find themselves speaking broken Tagalog, Visayan, or whatever his wife's native tongue is.
Since 1997, this site has helped educate tens of thousands of men on the realities of Fil-West marriage. The articles you find here are based both on my and my wife's experiences over the past twenty years and the experiences of thousands of other Fil-West couples. Many pages contain entire articles, while others contain the first quarter or so of articles you'll find in my book, which you'll find links to elsewhere on the site.
Whatever your gender, nationality, or goals, I hope you find ASAWA a useful and fun site to explore.
- Bob Lingerfelt, Webmaster and Asawa
For those of you not up on your Tagalog - the language most often spoken in the Philippines - "Asawa" actually means "spouse," which can be either a husband or a wife. Here my primary focus is on the husband, of course. It's pronounced uh (as in "luck") - sau (as in "south") - wa (as in "was"), with the accent on the second syllable.
For the record, I am not a "matchmaker" and I neither promote nor condemn any relationship, Fil-West or otherwise. I do, however, discuss "pen pal" relationships and "mail order brides" as well as the mythology associated with having an "Asian wife." To the extent that some visitors might perceive those discussions as biased one way or the other, I can only say that I do my best to remain neutral, but I won't hesitate to speak my mind on important subjects.
Many visitors to this site are discouraged by what they find. I dispel many myths about Filipinas that other sites tend to perpetuate. If you find what you read discouraging and decide not to pursue a relationship with a Filipina - good! Good for you, and good for her, because if you marry for the wrong reasons, it's only a matter of time before you and your wife realize you're incompatible. Your marriage wouldn't last. You'd be unhappy and your unfortunate wife would be even more unhappy, stranded in a foreign land with a man who fell in love not with her, but with some fantasy-based ideal. The bottom line is that you can fall in love with an ideal...but you can't marry one. A Filipina is a human being, with human strengths and human flaws. She is not an ideal. You'll find that many articles on the website that push that point.
On the other hand, if you do not find the information in the site discouraging, but are instead encouraged to learn more about Filipino culture and Fil-West relationships, you will find I've included many (hopefully) useful articles, authored by myself and several guest writers.
It's important to keep in mind that when a non-Filipino and Filipina wed, culture shock is not reserved for the wife alone. Though she is typically required to adapt herself to a new nation and culture, a Filipina will probably want to make her home feel like...well, like home. Which is to say, a Filipino home. New foods appear in the kitchen and on the dinner table. New pictures and religious icons appear on the walls. Protestants find themselves attending Catholic services. Numerology, superstitions, and dreams might become common topics of conversation. And all but the most stubborn husbands will find themselves speaking broken Tagalog, Visayan, or whatever his wife's native tongue is.
Since 1997, this site has helped educate tens of thousands of men on the realities of Fil-West marriage. The articles you find here are based both on my and my wife's experiences over the past twenty years and the experiences of thousands of other Fil-West couples. Many pages contain entire articles, while others contain the first quarter or so of articles you'll find in my book, which you'll find links to elsewhere on the site.
Whatever your gender, nationality, or goals, I hope you find ASAWA a useful and fun site to explore.
- Bob Lingerfelt, Webmaster and Asawa
What is the #1 financial mistake of men who are new to Fil-West relationships?
They call the Philippines using their regular long distance carrier!
Don't do it! Please visit SpeedyPin,
one of ASAWA's primary sponsors. As most Fil-West couples already know,
using a phone card can save you a lot of money!